What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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