you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
