Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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