I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
