Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
