He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
