Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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