You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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