Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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