careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
