All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
it was like having sex with a tree stump
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
