At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
