My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize