I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize