I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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