TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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