Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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