he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
