i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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