I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Found the puke drawer
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
