Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
