Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
