I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
