If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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