I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
