thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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