Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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