So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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