Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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