You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
