Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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