ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my being single is dangerous.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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