When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize