Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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