It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
