You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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