IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize