that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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