I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i would punch a child for taco bell
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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