ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize