I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize