Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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