i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
