Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
