Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize