I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
