either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He has the fingertips of a God
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
