I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
