Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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