Me too!
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
