On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
