if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
