he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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