Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
