Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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