I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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