ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
