I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
